“Cum For Me, Baby!” Jerk Off Instructions

BDSM Contracts 101

“When I think about you, I touch myself…”

Self-pleasure is pretty much universal—most of us know exactly what we need to get ourselves off, right? But how would you feel about giving up that control to someone else? Intrigued? 😏 Well, read on because today, we’re talking about JOI—that’s Jerk Off Instructions.

Ready to learn? Sit your kinky ass down and do as I say. 🍑

Tell Me What to Do

Jerk Off Instructions (or JOI) is exactly what it sounds like—somebody telling you how to touch yourself (and where, and how hard, and how fast…). It’s common among kinksters because it’s all about control. The Dom gives the instructions, and subs follow obediently. 🖤

JOI is perfect for remote playmates who wanna indulge in a bit of saucy cyber sex because it doesn’t necessarily involve touch. Some kinksters even pre-record instructions for their playmate to use later.

Anyone can participate, but JOI is most popular with FemDommes instructing their male subs. “Oh please let me cum, Mistress!” 💦

Sex Tip:

Being a JOI sub is possible with any genitals, but if you’ve got a vagina, then you’ll know that the things others tell you to do with it don’t always feel good! Have a longer discussion beforehand about what feels hottest for you, so your Dom knows better how to instruct you.
Like any sexual activity, JOI can be as kinky or as casual as you want it to be. Maybe you wanna encourage your playmate to reach the heights of sensuous pleasure, using your words to lead them to a shattering orgasm. Or maybe you wanna deny your playmate their orgasm until next time, leaving them begging for more and yearning for your permission. 😈
Don’t worry, we’ll get to all of that later…

Stop, Go, Fast, Slow…

Your Dom will tell you how to masturbate in as much detail as you want. They’ll set the pace, tell you where to touch yourself, and decide how hard or soft the motion should be. They might tease you, deny you, encourage you, mock you—anything your black heart desires! 🖤

Wanna cum as fast as possible? Wanna gaze into their eyes as you explode? Wanna be taken to the edge and denied that final moment of erotic bliss again and again? Discuss what you want out of the sex session in advance, and set a tone that works for everyone.

Kinky Edging

JOI is a great set-up for exploring erotic edging. Doms, bring your sub to the brink of orgasm, then make them stop right before they cum. Repeat these steps as many times as they can stand. 😈

It’s all in the timing—try telling your sub to count down to their orgasm, then stop them before they hit zero. To get that ultimate saucy satisfaction, subs have to have enough respect to stop when they’re told to.

“You’ve got to be a good little slut for your Dom, okay?” 💋

The Dom Demeanor

Okay, JOI Doms, this section is for you. How do you embody your Dom personality for JOI? Read on for a few tips…

Confidence is key—subs want to feel under your control.
Do your research online—there’s plenty of porn videos to help you. If you’re not sure exactly what your sub wants, get them to send you a few clips as inspiration.
Customize your instruction to the needs of your individual sub. Listen to their needs, and follow them (with your own spin, of course…).
Show, don’t tell—use a sex toy, or get creative with a cucumber or a grapefruit.
Get what you need, too—they’ve got a mouth, so why not sit on their face while you tell them how to touch themselves? 😏
If you’re exploring JOI more for them than for you, alternate this scene with something you really wanna do, too.
Once the scene has started, remember who’s in charge. 🔥

Amp It Up

Wanna get real kinky with it? Now we’re talking… 😈

As a reminder, pre-sex chats are especially important within BDSM, so always talk through your desires and boundaries before you get the handcuffs out.

Try bondage—get your Dom to tie you to a chair as you’re following their erotic instructions. With only your hands free, your sense of control is loosened further, and you can let yourself fall deeper into your subspace.
Slip on a blindfold to enhance your senses of touch and sound. Doms, whisper in your sub’s ear and give them that tingling ASMR sensation. 🔥
Into degradation? Incorporate erotic humiliation into your dirty talk. Talk down to your sub while you instruct them to feel worthless. “You disgust me, you little bitch boy. Stroke your pathetic cock and think about how it’ll never be big enough to satisfy me.” 😈
Ever used numbing cream? When you put it on your genitals, it makes it harder for you to feel sexual pleasure. If they’re up for it, put some on your sub, and humiliate them for not being able to cum when you tell them to, even though they’re trying really hard.

JOI Tip: Peg your playmate while you’re giving them instructions to really (jack)hammer the message home—and bring them to orgasm faster. 🔥

Subs in chastity can enjoy JOI too. If you’re lucky, your Dom will let you out of your cage this time—but it might be your last orgasm for days, weeks, or even months. “I’m going to lock you up again in 30 seconds whether you’ve cum or not, so hurry up you worthless pig.”

Cheat Sheet: JOI, Step by Step

Your scene can go any way you want it, but here’s a quick example for you…

Tell your sub to watch porn or read erotica without touching themselves to build up their arousal and anticipation.
Forbid them from touching their genitals at first, but tell them to explore other erogenous zones—their tender thighs and hips, their soft neck, their pert nipples…
Once their hands are on their junk, start off with slow caresses, allowing a few strokes before stopping again.
Adjust the length and speed of touch to vary up the motion—potentially adding sex toys too.
As they come closer to orgasm, talk them through edging to build their arousal again and again.
Finally, when you think they just can’t take it anymore, let them cum. Or, don’t! 😈

It’s up to you, remember? Don’t forget, once you’ve established your limits and got your safewords in place, the Dom is in charge.

“Shhh, baby, I know you’re ready to explode. If you’re good and you follow my instructions, then I might just let you cum this time…” 💦

Have you ever tried being a jerk-off Dom? Or does the idea of following instructions turn you on? Share your saucy secrets and dirty desires with everyone in the comments. 👀